For me, I remember, my body was all rippling inward motion – thrusting in, splashing around, drawing out, wave after wave. It was like an elusive tail was flickering about in my bloodstream. Then, just when I thought I’d lost it, this swelling and subsiding snake sensation brushing up against my inner skin, it would come forth unexpectedly again as if from some vast shadowed hiding place and dissolve me in a phosphorescence of elation. At first it was an incredibly physical sensation which every atom partook in. My body ached and yearned in the place where pleasure and pain are fused. And then something other took over completely from inside - so strong that there no longer seemed to be a boundary to my body. As if one star had suddenly burst into hundreds of fiery and icy scattering stars. All the aching was transformed into another element - fluid and dark, a waterfall at the heart of darkness. Or like a water hose that you put your finger over so the water sprays, bursts, erupts out in all directions uncontrollably. And then the skin came back on my body and time returned. The desire still swirled inside like a deep heartbeat. It was carnal and spiritual together, of the day and of the night. It contained the seed of all that's transfiguring and triumphant but also of all that’s terrifying - panic, terror, rage, annihilation, jealousy, madness, death. All these light and dark forces swirled about, were set in motion and what one is left with can easily assail one as a terrifying exultant emptiness."
“Phosphorescence of elation?”
“Okay, so I got a bit carried away.”