Monday, March 7, 2011

Getting Dumped

    Why do we men always want women to see the pain they cause us? We always want women to feel on our behalf. Because when we feel they don’t give a shit our world caves in. We can’t just go away and weep in private though. First of all we have to make a song and dance of our hurt. We have to pour forth our pleas of please and sorry. We might start off by standing under our jilter’s window in the rain (we like it that it’s raining, the rain gives every entreaty we call up a more impassioned touch of theatre.) And, despite the hurt, the churning hollow wretchedness, we’re also secretly pleased with ourselves beneath the window. We have a soft spot for this emotion. The if-only-you’d-come-back-to-me-life-would-be-beautiful feeling. It’s the stuff that gets poetry written, religions underway. When we’re standing in the rain with our heartbreak it’s as if we’re alone under the spotlights on stage at Wembley Stadium with a guitar around our neck. We’re about to perform and we may well give the performance of our life. This one is for Katherine (or Maggie or Medusa), we say into the microphone. And we hear the crowd cheer and see an ocean of little bobbing flames. We thrash out some elegiac chords, make all our favourite words rhyme and we sing our poor heart out for the departed Katherine (or Maggie or Medusa). And if she’s not in the audience we hope someone who knows her is, someone who will tell her how much pain we’re in because she has decided to go back to her old boyfriend.

5 comments:

  1. Oh god, this is so funny. I hope in your next post you will explain why (some) men do exactly the same thing even if they were the jilters.

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  2. But it all works out in The End... because the jilted one becomes the 'old boyfriend'.

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  3. Ah too true lol never looked at it that way.

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  4. This is an entertaining read. Very true and eloquently written.

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  5. Well said! But how exactly do those little bobbing flames maintain against the rain?

    No matter, I think I have an answer to your question. Why do we men always want women to see the pain they cause us? Because we figure that they, unlike ourselves, are equipped with a full set of emotions and that upon seeing our pain they will take pity on us and let us back in. And, excuse me for waxing uncharacteristically Freudian here, but it probably all goes back to that eternal spring of love, woe and hurt; Maternal love.

    Yes, and Frankie is completely right. We do.

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